Growing Pains, a.k.a. Hard, but Good

No, I'm not talking about the 80's show Growing Pains (which was one of my favorites) where a life-altering problem could be introduced, worked through, and solved in 30 minutes. I'm talking about real life - my real life. The past few weeks have been 'hard, but good.' I remember back in the 90's when this seemed to be a catch-phrase among my friends. Eventually it almost turned into a joke - we knew that God was growing us and that was good, but it was not easy. We may have said it jokingly, but knew that it was true.

I don't know about you, but I don't love those 'hard, but good' or 'growing pains' times. In fact, I tend to run from conflict, confrontation, or anything that may come out as remotely negative. Fortunately, God did not design life to be easy or fun all the time. He wants more for us than the superficial, so we go through growing times that aren't always easy.

As I mentioned before, the catalyst for my writing my thoughts in this blog was doing "The Best Yes" study by Lysa Terkeurst. Can I just tell you that I have learned so much through it? It has brought me back to my foundation, and God has revealed to me different things in my own life that He has for me through the past couple of months. I believe that I was in the middle of this study when I was also in the middle of a major decision-making, growing pain-full, hard, but good time for a reason. I have been praying, crying, reading, seeking wisdom, processing, wrestling with my emotions and seeking God for answers. As I told a friend, this situation has me so upset that I can't sleep or eat - two of my very favorite things in the world to do! On the last video session of the study, Lysa says, "Making wise decisions in the midst of trying times can lead to a much bigger Best Yes around the corner - a yes that will become part of your legacy."

I've had a peace about the situation and about the end result since before it came to a breaking point. I know that God is bigger than me, bigger than this situation, and will work for all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I still don't have a clear answer, or maybe I do, but my heart and feelings are clouding it. I know that God has shown me that I love writing and don't do it enough. I know that He has shown me that I have gifts that are different from the ones that I'm using in my current situation. Now, do I believe that in this trying time saying no is a Best Yes decision and that He will lead me to something much bigger? I suppose I'm learning first-hand what a step of faith is all about.

Though I haven't made a final decision about this specific situation, I know that this hard-but-good time is for a reason. For now I'll keep listening to Him and trust in His Best Yes for me.

The Answer is Yes

It was just another ordinary Monday. Kids were dropped off to school, snacks for small group were prepared, shopping at Costco was finished (not put away, but at least in the house). I decided that I should take a few of the precious minutes I had and sit down to start the Bible Study assignment that I had gotten over a week ago. You see, our group is a group of women similar to me - moms and wives with busy schedules and chaotic lives. We share a love of God, of reading, and of learning. We have decided to meet every other week so that we can let the lessons sink in, apply them to our lives, or in my case, have one week to procrastinate and one week to actually do.

As I sat down on my couch, I reviewed the workbook and session notes from the previous meeting, filled in some blanks, and started reading chapters in the book, just like the workbook said to do. Chapter One - check. Chapter Two - check. Chapter Three - WHOA! The study we chose is "The Best Yes" by Lysa TerKeurst. Chapter Three is "Overwhelmed Schedule, Underwhelmed Soul." I started reading...and promptly fell asleep. Now, to be clear, this had NOTHING to do with the writing or content. It did, however, have everything to do with that chapter title being true in my life.

I woke up to the alarm telling me it was time to think about getting my kids. I turned it off, sat back on the couch and woke up at exactly 1:30. 1:30 happens to be the time that I'm supposed to be at my youngest son's preschool to pick him up. On Mondays when my husband is working, I need to be there at precisely 1:30 so I can be on time to pick up my two older boys who have early dismissal 15 minutes later. Needless to say, I was not on time for either of these things.

After I retrieved my kids (none of whom were upset with me, just wondered why I was the last parent at pick up), I had to take a moment and laugh at the irony of it all. "Overwhelmed Schedule, Underwhelmed Soul," while it may not be a question, for me the answer is still YES.

Today is Wednesday and I finished the chapter, as well as the first part of the workbook session. I found so much truth in the words of those chapters (because the real-life experience wasn't enough for me). I have known for a while that it is time to make a change, but I wasn't sure what it was or how.

This is my first step. There's always stuff rolling around in my head, and sometimes I wonder if it's worth sharing. Sometimes I think I should write it down (type it out) just because I can. Lysa encourages her reader to think about what she would do if she had more time, where her passions are, and who it would bless. Since I love editing and always wanted to try writing, here it is. I don't know who this will bless. It may end up being my own kind of therapy. Maybe someone will think my life situations are as funny as I think they are. Maybe it will put a smile on someone's face or help them to see something in a new light.

Am I quirky? Do I have a weird sense of humor? Do I love God and want to move this imperfect soul one step closer to Him? Do I have an overwhelmed schedule and underwhelmed soul? Is it worth it? Is there really an abundant life for me like God says there is? Did God really give me three BOYS to raise? Is this my life? Am I going to make the most of it?

The answer is yes.